Emotional Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.
The other three gathered around him and asked: Whats wrong? Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. Im sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me.
One of his buddies asked: What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?
Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole!
Oh my God, the other golfers said; That must have been horrible!
Horrible? You think it's horrible? Bob cried in disbelief; It was worse than that!!!
Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice...

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man *wants* to have sex with them more...

OFFICE MEMODate: 1/18/96SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DESTROYS APPLE TO SAVE ITStock Price Increases 50%"We'll do it better," Says MicrosoftCUPERTINO, Calif. JANUARY 18, 1996The massive pile of smoking rubble near Interstate 280 here in Cupertino was not the result of an earthquake or natural gas explosion, as officials first believed. It now appears that the terrific explosion and fire at Apple Computer headquarters was the result of the first corporate-initiated airstrike on U. S. or California soil in U. S. history. Sources within Apple have told newspapers that, in an effort to save Apple from an internal coup that would result in the breakup and sale of the company, embattled Apple CEO Michael Spindler called in elements of the California Air National Guard, based at Moffet Federal Air Station in Mountain View, Calif. to bomb and strafe his own headquarters. Spindler allegedly called the California Air National Guard late last night and ordered the airstrike, using an more...

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.
The other three gathered around him and asked him what was wrong.
Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "Im sorry," he said, "but I always get emotional at this hole... it holds very difficult memories for me."
One of his buddies asked, "What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?"
Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack - right at this very hole!"
The other golfers were stunned by this revelation. "That must have been a horrible day for you!"
Bob cried out in disbelief, "Horrible doesn't even begin to cover it. It was absolute hell for me. Every hole more...

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.The other three gathered around him and asked: Whats wrong? Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. Im sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me.One of his buddies asked: What happened? What could have gotten you so upset? Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole! Oh my God, the other golfers said; That must have been horrible! Horrible? You think it's horrible? Bob cried in disbelief; It was worse than that!!! Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice...

I thought I'd tack on a little humor. I've been far too quiet for far too long. This is really what the Mormons believe.
From the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints...
I'd thought you'd enjoy this.
Mormon Instructions on avoiding Masturbation
From a Guide to Mormon Youth
"Guide to Self-Control: Overcoming Masturbation."
Enlist The Power Of Prayer
Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation.
Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.
When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell "Stop!" to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind. Then recite a portion of the Bible or sing a hymn.
Exercise Vigorously
Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise, which reduce emotional tension and depression.
Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
Set Goals
Set a goal of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a more...