Employers Jokes / Recent Jokes

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.6. Its best for employers that I not work with people.7. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.9. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.10. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.11. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting more...

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6. 0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

6. Its best for employers that I not work with people.

7. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

9. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

10. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

11. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.

13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a more...

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0, computor and spreadsheat progroms.
Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
It's best for employers that I not work with people.
Let's meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.
You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
I Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my
resume on my office voice mail.
I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one, and
absolutely nothing.
My goal is more...