Ems Jokes / Recent Jokes

MEMO TO ALL EMS PERSONNEL
To: All EMS Personnel
From: Chief of Operations
Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions
It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.
Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).
Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots". Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.
Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper". Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal more...

your immune system attacks a dog crossing your front garden.
you have delusions of being an emergency doctor.
the EMS guys think your name is the Coffee Mate.
you tell the doctors and nurses that you don't get paid anything to do this and they look at you like you'r some kind of a freak.
your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.
the EMS guys refer to you as "the pain in the ass that got in my way when I was bringing in a code!"
your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
your favorite colors are green, white and red, even though you are not Italian.
your favorite thing is to take orders from medical students.
you have recurring nightmares about being knocked to the floor and run over by a portable X-ray machine.

(name withheld) Minnetonka, MN 55345

Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016

Dear Sir:

This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. Specifically, you asked for an expansion in reference to Block 21(a)(3) of the claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form, I put "Stupidity". I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague and so I will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up to my hospitalization.

I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick bite to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took care of my business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to raise my trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper in such places came undone and, feeling it striking my knee, unthinkingly, I more...

Because 24 hours isnt enough, the Emergency Nurses Association is proud to announce that we have officially extended Emergency Nurses Day on October 10, 2001 to an entire week-October 7 - 13, 2001.
MEMO TO ALL EMS PERSONNEL
To: All EMS Personnel
From: Chief of Operations
Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions
It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.
Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again). Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state. Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC more...

(name withheld) Minnetonka, MN 55345Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016Dear Sir: This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. Specifically, you asked for an expansion in reference to Block 21(a)(3) of the claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form, I put "Stupidity". I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague and so I will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up to my hospitalization. I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick bite to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took care of my business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to raise my trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper in such places came undone and, feeling it striking my knee, unthinkingly, I immediately, and with unnecessary force, returned the more...