Error Jokes / Recent Jokes
Computer Terminology...
486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete: Any computer you own.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3: Apple's new Macs that make you say ''Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.''
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, ''Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.''
Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI: What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced ''gooey'')
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on more...
Error Messages
''The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out...''
''WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue.''
''COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key.''
''Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though.''
''Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!''
''Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...''
''Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)''
''General Failure's Fault. Not Yours.''
''Hit any user to continue.''
''Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying.''
''Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.''
''Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.''
''Ooops. My brain just hit a bad sector.''
''Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted.''
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
A preacher phoned the city's newspaper. "Thank you very much," he said, "for the error you made when you announced my sermon topic for last Sunday. The topic I sent you was 'What Jesus Saw in A Publican.' You printed it as 'What Jesus Saw in a Republican' I had the biggest crowd of the year!"
While in Israel I found a great buy on a computer. It is a kosher computer called a DELLSHALOM.
It was selling at such a good price that...well... mine arrived today. If you or a friend are considering a kosher computer, you should know that there were some important upgrades and changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:
The cursor moves from right to left.
It comes with two hard drives, one for 'Fleyshik' business software and one for 'Milchik' games.
Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets 'Ferklempt'.
The Chanukah screen savers include 'Flying Dreidels'.
The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
The "Start" button has been replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.
When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the more...