Escapes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready!...Aim!!..."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, "Ready!... Aim!!..."
Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready!... Aim!!..."
...and the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts,' 'Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells,' 'EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts,' 'Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells,' 'TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells,' 'FIRE!!!'''

There are three women who are about to be executed. One is a brunette, another is a red head and the other is a blonde. The first to be executed is the brunette and they ask her Do you have any last words? and she replies Yes...Tornado! So they all take cover and she escapes. The next to be executed is the red head and they ask her Do you have any last words? and she replies Yes..Robber! So they all chase after nothing and she escapes.The last to be executed is the blonde, of course, and they ask her Do you have any last words? and she replies Yes, Fire! and she died.

Chaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, "Are you Jewish?" The man says, "No." Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, he asks, "You wouldn't happen to be Jewish would you?" The man replies, "No!" Joe immediately apologizes. Five minutes later he says, " Can I ask you a personal question.... are you Jewish?" He shots, "NO!" Joe continueslike this for the next four hours. When the train stops, the man runs away. When he gets to the hotel, he realizes there is someone next to him. It is Joe. Joe asks, Say, are you Jewish?" The man is so fed up that he says, "Yes." Joe says, "That's funny... you don't look Jewish at all!"

When a lion escapes from a circus in Africa, how do they know when
they've caught the right one?
- George Carlin