Esther Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was this fellow who had a pet goose. He loved his goose and took it everywhere with him. One day he went to the movies and the ticket seller told him that his goose was not allowed in the theater. He ran around the corner and stuffed the goose in his pants. Then he bought his ticket and went into the theater. He selected a seat next to two elderly ladies.
During the movie he could hear his goose panting due to lack of air. He unzipped his pants to let the goose breathe. Soon the lady next to him elbowed her friend and whispered, "Esther, Esther you won't believe whats going on next to me." Esther glances over and says, "Well, you've seen one you've seen them all."
"Well, maybe, but this one's eating my popcorn!"
Phrase statements as questions. Instead of telling Ida she looks gorgeous, ask her, "How stunning do you have to look?" Instead of answering questions definitely, answer with another question. When someone asks how you feel, answer, "How should I feel?" Whenever possible, end questions with "or what?" This allows the other person to interject another question: "Has she grown up, or what?"; "Can you remember when she was just a baby, or what?" (About now, a spontaneous rendition of "Sunrise, Sunset" should be expected.) Begin questions with "What?" Example: "What, my kishka's not good enough for you?" Drop last word in sentence (which is typically a direct or indirect object): "What, do you want to get killed going alone? Ira will go with" (drop "you"). Move subject to end of sentences: "Is SHE getting heavy, that Esther?" Use "that" as a modifier to infer contempt: more...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esther.
Esther who?
The Esther Bunny.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stella.
Stella who?
Stella nother Esther Bunny.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Samoa.
Samoa who?
Samoa Esther Bunnies.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Consumption.
Consumption who?
Consumption be done about all these Esther Bunnies?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esther.
Esther who?
Esther anyone else as sick of this joke as I am?