Eve Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship,
they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car
(a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of
the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any
children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into
their vehicle. soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the
driving conditions deteriorated andthe perfect couple and Santa Claus had an
accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the more...
A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No way! They have no clothes and no shelter," the Russian points out, "They have only an apple to eat, and are being told they live in a paradise. Obviously, they are Russian."
WHAT TO DO ON CHRISTMAS EVE
Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me -- we had nothing to do.
The Gentiles were home, hanging stocking with care,
Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.
But for us, once the Hanukkah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
There weren't any concerts to go to that night.
A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
But we searched through the papers; there wasn't a thing.
Outside the window sat two feet of snow;
With the wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below.
And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
My girl saved the night and called out' CHINESE FOOD!'
So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots --
To cover out heads, our hands, and our foots.
One day The Lord spoke to Adam. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said.
Adam looked at The Lord and replied, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?
Scroll down for the answer...
The tree's all decorated, the lights are aglow,
the ground is covered, by the new fallen snow.
Families are gathered, all together again,
reliving memories, of way back when.
Children and grandchildren, running all about,
while thru the house, their laughter rings out.
Friends and neighbors, they all stop by,
some to stay awhile, others to just say hi.
Under the mistletoe, a couple kiss in the hall,
it's the time of the year, when love's shared by all.
Old hurts are finally, layed down to rest,
and to get along, everyone tries their best.
The cookies and eggnog, are just about gone,
one small child, tries to hide a sleepy yawn.
As bedtime approaches, and draws near,
the children crawl in bed, with not one tear.
Even the dog and cat, seem to get along,
while everyone gathers, to sing one last song.
Joyous glee, and wonderous delight,
just an old fashioned, Christmas more...
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. more...