Eve Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, God and Adam were walking in the
Garden of Eden. God told Adam that it was time
to populate the Earth.
"Adam, you can start by kissing Eve."
"Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam.
God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind
the bush and kissed her.
A little while later, Adam returned with a big
smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's
next?"
"Adam, I now want you to caress Eve."
"Lord, what is caress?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the
bush and caressed her.
A little while later, Adam returned with a big
smile and said, "Lord that was even better than
a kiss! What's next?"
"Here is what gets the deed done. I now want
you to make love to Eve."
"Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the
bush.
A few seconds later, Adam more...

After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a' kiss?' " So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable." And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a' caress?'" So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is' make love' Lord?'" So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind more...

Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve

10. Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. One day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
7. Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist's or haircut appointment by himself.
6. Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
5. If the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone."
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I more...

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing God said to them was:' 'Don't''

''Don't what?'' Adam asked

''Don't eat the forbidden fruit,'' said God.

''Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?'' Adam and Eve asked, jumping up and down excitedly.

''It's over there,'' said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and he was very angry.

''Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?'' the First Parent asked.

''Uh huh,'' Adam replied.

''Then why did you do it?'' God asked exasperated.

''I dunno,'' Adam answered.

God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has more...

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
"You're running around with other women," she charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs!"