Eventually Jokes / Recent Jokes

A boy was turning four, and his dad said he'd give him whatever he wanted for his birthday.
The boy replied,' Can I have a tractor this year?"
His dad said' Yes, of course.'
That year the boy got what he wanted.
The next year, his dad went to him and asked him what he wanted for his birthday this year. He said "Can I have a bigger tractor than last year?"
The dad kindly said yes.
Three years had passed and it was the boys birthday again and his dad asked him what he would like this year, again the boy asked for a tractor.
He got the same present each year. Eventually the boy became 18, his dad walked to him and asked what he would like for his birthday. The boy replied "Can I have a walkman?"
The dad was surprised and agreed.
The boy got his present and was walking down the road, when he smelt smoke. As he walked further, the smoke became thicker and thicker. When he got further he found a building was on more...

I'm hungry = I'm hungry. I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy. I'm tired = I'm tired. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you. What's wrong? = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this. What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex? I love you. = Let's have sex now. I love you, too. = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now! Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before. Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! Let's talk. = I am trying to more...

A pretty terrible golfer was playing a round of golf for which he had hired a caddie. The round proved to be somewhat tortuous for the caddie to watch and he was getting a bit exasperated by the poor play of his employer. At one point the ball lay about 180 yards from the green and the as the golfer sized up his situation, he asked his caddie, "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?" And the caddie replied, "Eventually."

80, 000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention". The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80, 000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80, 000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcastmedia here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened -- the more...

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican
village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.
Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and
asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied only a little while.
The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more
fish?
The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.
The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?
The Mexican fisherman said, I sleep late, fish a little, play with my
children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each
evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full
and busy life, senor.
The American scoffed, I am a Harvard MBA and could help you.
You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a more...

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it followthat electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers willbe debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will bedeflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will bedebriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose. And on a more positive note, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention". The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcastmedia here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh - everyone is disheartened - the more...