Exchange Jokes / Recent Jokes
When the stock exchange index reached its peak before the Harshad Mehta affair broke out, many rich contractors, who knew very little about the stock exchange, used the opportunity to make some quick money. Their level of ignorance can be made out from the following incident, narrated by a broker. One day he received a call from one of these fat cats who wanted to find out about what was happening in the market. The broker says, he told the caller that the index had touched 3, 000 points. Prompt came the reply, "Theek hai, uske bhi hazaar kharida. (OK, buy a thousand of that too.)"
An Asian Guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66.
He asks the lady why he gets less cash this week than last week.
The lady says: "Fluctuations."
The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming
the door, turns around and says: "Fuck you Americans too!"
"Fluctuations." means fuck you asians.
Administratrium, The New Element AMES, IA--The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction time is less than one second.Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a more...
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by GM Research physisists. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 asistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic number of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction that it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Adimnistratium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occuered in less than one second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice more...
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
physicists at Yale's Research Center. The element, tentatively named
administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic
number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons
75 vice- neutrons and 11 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an
atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus
by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
called morons.
Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact
with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium
caused a reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would
normally occur in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal life of approximately three years, at which
time it does not actually decay but, instead, undergoes more...
Administratrium, The New Element AMES, IA-The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction time is less than one second.Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a more...
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange for some real money (USD), so I went to the money exchange window at the local bank. It was a short line, with just one guy in front of me. He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated.
In a thick accent, he asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen - today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller says, "Fluctuations".
The Asian guy says, "Fluc you Americans too!"