Excited Jokes / Recent Jokes

As soon as the ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals.
"Now listen up!" Noah said, with authority in his voice. "There will be no sex on this trip. Males, you are to remove your penis and turn it in to my sons. I will be seated at the table over there and will write you a receipt. Once we see land, turn in your receipt and I will give you back your penis."
Several days later, Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage all excited. "Quick," he said, "get up on my shoulders and look out the window to see if you can see any land out there!"
Mrs. Rabbit did as he asked and said, "Sorry, dear, no land yet."
"Damn!" Mr. Rabbit exclaimed.
This went on day after day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. "What's the matter with you?" she asked. "You know it will rain for forty days and forty nights. We will only be able to see land after the water has drained. Why are you more...

Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of
Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of
agitation. "Father!" she cried, "just wait until you hear this!"
The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, " Now just calm
down and tell me what has you so excited?" "Well, father" the nun
began, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard
some of the older boys wagering money!"
"A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest.
"But that's not what
has me so excited, father" replied the nun, " it was WHAT they were
wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate
the highest on the wall!!"
"What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do?"
"Well, I hit the ceiling, father."
"How much did you win?"

Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Ladyof Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state ofagitation. "Father!" she cried, "just WAIT until you hear this!"The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, " Now just calmdown and tell me what has you so excited?" "Well, father" the nunbegan, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and Iheard some of the older boys wagering money!""A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest. "But that's not what has me so excited, father" replied the nun,"it was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on acontest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall!!""What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do?""Well, I hit the CEILING, father.""How much did you win?"

An excited man calls the fire department and says, "Help me, my house is on fire!!" The fireman says, "Where do you live?"

The man replies, "I am too excited, I can't tell you the exact address."

The fireman asks, "How do you expect us to get there?"

The man replies, "What do you mean' how'? The big red truck."

"Why are you so excited?", the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized."But doc, this is my first operation.""Really? Its mine too, and I am not excited at all."

Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them.
Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and was very excited.
His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishop's room and then say to him, "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up."
Little Johnny was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally the day came and Little Johnny had learned all his lines. He went to the door and knocked.
He was so excited and nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!"

One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad decided to try to get a cute coil to let him discharge. He picked up Milli Amp and took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode across Wheastone bridge, around the sine wave and stopped in a magnetic field by a flowing current.
Micro Farad, attracted by Millie's characteristic curves, decided to engage in a little mutual inductance, and soon had her resistance at a minimum and his field fully excited. He laid her on the ground potential, raised her frequency, lowered his capacitance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. He inserted it into her tank circuit, connecting them in parallel and began to short circuit her shunt.
Fully excited, Milli Amp cried, "MHO", MHO, it Hertz, but give me MHO".
With his tune operating at maximum amplitude, her coil vibrating from the current flow, they soon reached plate saturation and found their cutoff point. The heavy current flow made her tubes of anode very hot more...