Executed Jokes / Recent Jokes

There are three women who are about to be executed. One is a brunette, another is a red head and the other is a blonde. The first to be executed is the brunette and they ask her Do you have any last words? and she replies Yes...Tornado! So they all take cover and she escapes. The next to be executed is the red head and they ask her Do you have any last words? and she replies Yes..Robber! So they all chase after nothing and she escapes.The last to be executed is the blonde, of course, and they ask her Do you have any last words? and she replies Yes, Fire! and she died.

There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed.The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that ight that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. The choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and when they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happened a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.The Torontonian was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free.Next it was the Newfies turn. He said, "I'm afraid of needles and the electric chair won't work so I pick hanging."

Also executed was his half-brother, Barzan Ibrahim.

Family dinner at the Hussein household probably included a lot of, "Well your brother invaded a country and killed hundreds of innocent civilians today. What did you do?"

It's not easy being an also-hanged.

Three men, an Italian, a Frenchman, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted.
"Give me the best French wine and French bread," he requested.
So they gave it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him. Next it was the Italian's turn.
"Give me a great big plate of pasta," said the Italian.
So they brought it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him. Now it was the Jew's turn.
"I want a big bowl of strawberries, " said the Jew.
"Strawberries!!! They aren't even in season!"
"Nu, so I'll wait..."

Three guys are about to be executed and they are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.
The Italian responds, Pepperoni Pizza, which he is served and then executed.
The Frenchmen requests a Fillet Mignon, which he is served and then executed.
The Newf requests a plate of strawberries.
"STRAWBERRIES ???"
"Yes, Strawberries."
He is told "But they are out of season!"
"So, I'll wait."

There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night, that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die.
Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The American was afraid of needles and did’nt want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.
The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and did’nt want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn’t work and he was free.
Next it was the Newfoundlanders turn to pick how he was to be executed. He said “I’m afraid of needles, the electric chair won’t work so you’re going to have more...

There were three woman which were gonna be executed. One was a blonde, one a brunette, and one a redhead.
They were outside all three of them and it was the brunettes turn to be executed. Just as they were aboout to shoot her she pointed behind the executers and yelled TORNADO. The executers looked behind them and the brunette escaped.
Now it was the redheads turn to be executed and just as they were gonna shoot her she pointed behind the executers and yelled TWISTER. The executers looked behind them and the redhead escaped as well.
Finally it was the blondes turn and just about when they were gonna shoot her she pointed behind them and yelled FIRE and they shot her!!