Exists Jokes

How do I know anything really exists? Kick it *really* hard.

It is December 30 1999 11: 00 PM, Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Boris Yeltsin appear before god. God: I have called you here with me because to my opinion you are the three most important men on earth. I want you to spread the message that I will destroy the earth on January 1. I will now send you back.......... Spread the message Boris Yeltsin: He gathers his comrades and says Friends I have bad news for us: 1) God exists 2) The world will be destroyed soon Bill Clinton: Clinton gathers his staff members and senators and says I have good news and bad news: 1) The good news is that God exists 2) The bad news is that he will destroy the world Bill Gates: Gates gathers all his managers and says I just have good news for you guys: 1) I am one of the three most important people on the planet 2) The Y2K-bug is solved

Life exists for no known purpose.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy. It's just a question of degree.

45 Fun Things to Do on a Paper You Don't Care About
1. Type every word in a different font. Alternate really big fonts with really small fonts.
2. Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual.
3. Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by sticking them all over the professor's door.
4. Switch the names of prominent history figures with the names of your friends, classmates, etc. Claim that your roommate led the Spanish Armada.
5. Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but Van Gogh didn't. Discuss whether Van Gogh would have used nunchakus or katanas.
6. Write your paper by cutting out words from magazines and sticking them on the page, ransom-note style.
7. End the paper with "This paper will self-destruct in 10 seconds".
8. Perfume the paper with catnip. Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it.
9. If assigned a paper in philosophy class, explain that you can't more...