External Jokes

The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss. The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks." The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person."The legs declared, "I shuld be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me."So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses. Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up. The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gavein. So the asshole became the boss of the body. The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.

Long, long ago, in a battle a soldier was shot in the leg, and suffered from constant pain. An officer in the troop sent for a surgeon versed in external medicine to treat the soldier's wound. The surgeon came to have a look, then said, "This is easy!" He cut off the arrow shaft at the leg with a big pair of scissors, and immediately asked for fees for the surgical operation. "Anyone can do that," the soldier, getting upset, cried, "The arrow head is still in the leg, why haven't you taken it out?" "My surgical operation is finished. The arrowhead in your leg should be cured by a physician who practices internal medicine."

The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss.The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks." The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person."The legs declared, "I shuld be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me."So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses.Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up.The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gavein. So the asshole became the boss of the body.The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.

An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects. The astrologer says, “Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can’t even reach that proportion”. The econometrician replies, “That’s because of external shocks. Stars don’t have those”.

The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss. The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks." The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person." The legs declared, "I shuld be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me." So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses. Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.." He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up. The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gavein. So the asshole became the boss of the body. The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.