Surgical Jokes

Long, long ago, in a battle a soldier was shot in the leg, and suffered from constant pain. An officer in the troop sent for a surgeon versed in external medicine to treat the soldier's wound. The surgeon came to have a look, then said, "This is easy!" He cut off the arrow shaft at the leg with a big pair of scissors, and immediately asked for fees for the surgical operation. "Anyone can do that," the soldier, getting upset, cried, "The arrow head is still in the leg, why haven't you taken it out?" "My surgical operation is finished. The arrowhead in your leg should be cured by a physician who practices internal medicine."

Q: What do you call the Surgical Procedure you perform on a " Yellow Citrus Fruit" that has Spinal stenosis?.

A: A Lemonectomy!

Four doctors who hadn't seen each other since their surgical residencies met at a medical seminar. Adjourning for dinner and drinks, they started talking about what makes a good surgical patient.
The first said, "Electrical engineers, because you open 'em up and everything is color-coded." "Nah," said the second. "It's librarians. You open 'em up and everything is alphabetized." The third scoffed. "Of course not," he said. "It's accountants. You open 'em up and everything is numbered." "Lawyers," said the fourth, with a shake of his head. "It's lawyers, you idiots! No heart, no guts, no spine, and the ass and the brain are interchangeable."

Four doctors who hadn’t seen each other since their surgical residencies met at a medical seminar. Adjourning for dinner and drinks, they turned their conversation to who makes the best surgical patients:
The first said, for sure, electrical engineers. “You open ‘em up, ” he contended, “and everything is color-coded. ”

“Nah, ” said the second. “It’s librarians. You open ‘em up and everything is alphabetized. ”

The third scoffed. “Of course not, ” he said. “It’s accountants. You open ‘em up and everything is numbered. ”

“Lawyers, ” said the fourth, with a shake of his head. “It’s lawyers, you idiots! No heart, no guts, no spine, and the ass and the brain are interchangeable. ”