Extra Jokes / Recent Jokes
Office work dull?...
None of your colleagues appreciate your humour?...
Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution
ONE-POINT GAGS Run one lap around the office at top speed Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other'non-player' must be in the bathroom at the time) When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye" To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!" Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way" more...
Office work dull?...None of your colleagues appreciate your humour?...Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative executionONE-POINT GAGS Run one lap around the office at top speed Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other'non-player' must be in the bathroom at the time) When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye" To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!" Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way" Walk sideways to more...
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at Burger King. He noticed that they ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries. One for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup, and set it in front of his wife. The old man began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."The young man than asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "Not yet. It's his turn using the teeth."
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them."Not very long," answered the Mexican."But then, why didnt you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the tourist. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The tourist asked, "So what do you do with the rest of your time?""I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, spend time with my wife... In the evenings I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, chase the senioras, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."The tourist said, "I have a M. B. A. from Stanford and I can help you. You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can more...
One night a man was going to bed with his wife.He put an extra pillow on his pillow.His wife asked:"Why are you putting two pillows under your head" and he replied:"Because I haven't slept for two nights!".
An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water." That way," he said, "You get an extra day out of them between drinks." As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel's balls. The camel sucked in its breath and took on three days' extra water." Doesn't that hurt?" asked a tourist." Nah," replied the bloke. "Only if you get your fingers caught!"
THE Y1K CRISIS
Canterbury, England. A. D. 999.
An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout Europe as the millennial year 1000 approaches, bringing with it the so-called "Y1K Bug," a menace which, until recently, hardly anyone had ever heard of. Prophets of doom are warning that the entire fabric of Western Civilization, based as it now is upon monastic computations, could collapse, and that there is simply not enough time left to fix the problem.
Just how did this disaster-in-the-making ever arise? Why did no one anticipate that a change from a three-digit to a four-digit year would throw into total disarray all liturgical chants and all metrical verse in which any date is mentioned? Every formulaic hymn, prayer, ceremony and incantation dealing with dated events will have to be re-written to accommodate three extra syllables.
All tabular chronologies with three-space year columns, maintained for generations by scribes more...