Extra Jokes / Recent Jokes

A GENT with a sparse growth of hair on his head went to a hairdressing saloon for a haircut. When the hairdresser informed him that the charge would be two rupees higher than the usual rate, he demanded to know why. The hairdresser explained that the extra charge was for searching for the hair to be cut!

Rules of Bedroom Football
1. There is a vast difference in grounds with regards to length and width, although they all conform within basic requirements.
2. Premiership grounds are all of high quality with well developed East and West stands.
3. Pitches vary from the well-grassed to the completely bald.
4. Remember it is always possible to score at both ends, but one end may always be preferable.
5. Bizarrely enough, shooting over the bar is sometimes preferred.
6. Take care not to be red carded in the tackle.
7. Tackling from behind is not always an offence - check with ground owner.
8. Be careful, as after a few pints a ground appears to be of premiership standard but in reality would not even be eligible for the Sidcup Social league.
9. Only some grounds offer five-a-side facilities.
10. Handling balls is allowed.
11. Some protection should be worn.
12. Singing songs about other players is banned.
13. Extra time may occur even if more...

Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, more...

Practical joke A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom's. Explain to the tux shop what you're up to. Pick up the groom's fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed. The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short. Talk about some serious fun! Don't reveal that you know anything as long as possible.

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case be reopened. He said that he had new evidence that made a huge difference in his defence. "What new evidence could you have?" said the judge. The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra £10, 000, and I just found out about it!"

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!