Extra Jokes / Recent Jokes
A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom's. Explain to the tux shop what you're up to. Pick up the groom's fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed. The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short. Talk about some serious fun! Don't reveal that you know anything as long as possible.
A 25-year-old man walks up to a pharmacy counter and asks for condoms.
The clerk at the counter asks, "What size are you?"
25 man: I didn't know you had sizes. I'm not sure.
She puts her hand down his pants, feels it, and gets on the intercom: I NEED LARGE CONDOMS TO THE PHARMACY COUNTER, LARGE CONDOMS TO THE PHARMACY COUNTER, THANK YOU.
10 minutes later a 50-year-old man walks up to the counter and asks for condoms.
Clerk: What size are you?
50 yr old: I didn't know you had sizes. I'm not sure.
Clerk: Well, I'll feel it and get the right size for you. She puts her hand down his pants, feels it, and gets on the intercom: I NEED EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY COUNTER, EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY COUNTER, THANK YOU.
Next a 16-year-old boy walks up to the counter and asks for condoms. Clerk: What size do you want? 16 yr boy: Gosh lady, I didn't know you had sizes. I don't know what size I am. Clerk: Well, I'll feel it and get more...
The AOL Car
1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots'a pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
11. The AOL car would have an AOL more...
The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots'a pretty colors and lights. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones. AOL would pass a new car more...
The newlyweds had just returned from their honeymoon and we're settling down in their new apartment. As the husband was returning home from work the following evening, a neighbor bumped into him in the hallway and said, "I just happen to have a couple of extra tickets to a play opening in town tonight. Would you and your bride like to have them?"
The young man replied, "I'll check with her." Opening their apartment door, he called out to her, "Sweetheart, would you care to see 'Oliver Twist' tonight?"
"Listen, pal," she responded, "if you dare show me one more trick with that thing, I'm going back home to my mother."
Smaller or larger tuxedo
A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo.
After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom’s. Explain to the tux shop what you’re up to. Pick up the groom’s fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed.
The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short. Talk about some serious fun! Don’t reveal that you know anything as long as possible.
Write on the bottom of shoes
Someone once took a large black ink marker and wrote “Help” on the bottom of the groom’s left shoe and “Me” on the bottom of the right shoe. So when he knelt down for his vows, the entire congregation saw it. Of more...
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald`s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn`t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We`ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It`s his turn with the teeth."