Extremists Jokes

Islamic extremists have recently downsized from car bombs to bicyclebombs. A spokesman says, "We're trying to be more eco-friendly andreduce our carbon bombprint."

Islamic extremists recently tried to kill a Swedish cartoonist who angered Muslims with blasphemous drawings of the Prophet Muhammad. The unsuccessful attempt involved asking him to hold an anvil and pushing him off a cliff.

In recent days, much has been written about the change in our national mood, and how the tragic attacks will affect the entertainment industry.
After consulting with industry leaders, we have taken the initiative and drafted the following guidelines for comedy and for action movies. These rules are effective as of October 1.
COMEDY RULES
Until further notice, all violent humor is to be replaced by sexist humor.
Similarly, all ethnic humor is to be replaced by obesity humor.
Jokes about death are to be replaced by jokes about long-term illness.
Jokes about long-term illness are to be replaced by jokes about minor injury.
Any stand-up comic who does a routine about airplanes is to be accompanied onstage by a federal marshal. (We should have done this years ago.)
No comedy is to be directed at countries with valuable airspace.
From now on, irony can only be deployed when referring to the following:
black flies in Chardonnays
free rides when more...