Islamic Jokes

Islamic extremists have recently downsized from car bombs to bicyclebombs. A spokesman says, "We're trying to be more eco-friendly andreduce our carbon bombprint."

6. 00& G-Had TV. Morning prayers.
8. 30 Talitubbies. Talitubbies say "Ah-ah". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.
9. 00 Shouts of Praise. More prayers.
11. 00 Jihad`s Army. The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.
12. 00 Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.
12. 30 Panoramadan. The programme reports on Americas attempts to take over the world.
13. 30 Xena: Modestly dressed Housewife. Xena stays at home and does some cooking.
14. 00 Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.
14. 30 Green Peter. The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.
15. 00 Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions.`Starter for ten, no praying.`
15. 30 I Love 629. A look back at the events of the year, including the more...

Islamic extremists recently tried to kill a Swedish cartoonist who angered Muslims with blasphemous drawings of the Prophet Muhammad. The unsuccessful attempt involved asking him to hold an anvil and pushing him off a cliff.

There was a devote Islamic man who did his prayers five times a day.
Now, the first prayer was rather early in the morning, but he was always awake in time because the prayers were important. One morning, however, he was about to sleep though his prayers, when there was suddently a noice in the closet.
Realizing he was late, he quickly got up and said his prayers. After he was done, he went to look in his closet, and there was Iblis (the Devil).
The man said "Iblis, were you the one that woke me up?"
Iblis said "Yes".
The man replied "Well, why didn't you let me sleep through my prayers?".
And Iblis replied "Well, I thoguht about it, but then I realized how bad you'd feel, and how you'd try and make it up to God, so I decided I'd better wake you up."

On the first day of the tenth month of the Islamic lunar calendar, Muslims celebrate the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting. This is one of two holidays celebrated throughout the Islamic world. Also known as Eid ul Fitr, Idu'l Fitar, Seker Bayram (Turkey), and Hari Raya Puasa (Southeast Asia). A DIETER'S CHRISTMAS
' Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps
had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should more...