F-word Jokes

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word."
The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven."
The guy however was quite eager to explain to the priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to listen to his explanation.
"Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy.
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a lucky kick out of the rough and I was left with a perfect shot to the more...

This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend. The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language.
The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue. Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church. The priest says, "And you got upset over that and swore?" The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees." The priest said, "And that's when you swore."
The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, "No, it wasn't. When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit more...

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word."The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven."The guy however was quite eager to explain to the priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to listen to his explanation."Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy."Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked."No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough.""Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked."No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a lucky kick out of the rough and I was left with a perfect shot to the green.""Is that why you said the more...

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word."

The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven."

The guy however was quite eager to explain to the priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to listen to his explanation.

"Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy.

"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.

"No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough."

"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.

"No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a lucky kick out of the rough and I was more...

A CHAT WITH YOUR MOM
by Lou & Peter Berryman.
Oh the Pirates in there fetted galleons,
daggers in their skivies
With Infected Tattooed fingers
on a blunderbuss or two (BLUNDERBUSS = musket like gun)
Signs of scurvy in there eyes
and only mermaids on there minds.
Its from them I would expect to hear the F-word
not from you
(CHORUS)
We sit down to have a chat
its F-word this and F-word that
I can't control how you young people
talk to one another
But I don't want to hear you use
that F-word with your mother
And the lumberjack from Kodiak (a city in Alaska)
Vacationing in Ancherage
Enchanged with their Pine-Tar Soup
and Caribou Shampoo
With seven weeks of backpay
in their airomatic woolens
Its from them I would expect to hear the F-word
not from you
(REPEAT CHORUS)
There are Militant Survivalists
with gucci bandoleros
Taking tacky-kacki walkie-talkies
to the more...