F-word Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word." The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven." The guy however was quite eager to explain to the priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to listen to his explanation." Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy." Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked." No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough." "Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked." No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a lucky kick out of the rough and I was left with a perfect shot to the green." "Is that why you said the more...

A CHAT WITH YOUR MOM
by Lou & Peter Berryman.
Oh the Pirates in there fetted galleons,
daggers in their skivies
With Infected Tattooed fingers
on a blunderbuss or two (BLUNDERBUSS = musket like gun)
Signs of scurvy in there eyes
and only mermaids on there minds.
Its from them I would expect to hear the F-word
not from you
(CHORUS)
We sit down to have a chat
its F-word this and F-word that
I can't control how you young people
talk to one another
But I don't want to hear you use
that F-word with your mother
And the lumberjack from Kodiak (a city in Alaska)
Vacationing in Ancherage
Enchanged with their Pine-Tar Soup
and Caribou Shampoo
With seven weeks of backpay
in their airomatic woolens
Its from them I would expect to hear the F-word
not from you
(REPEAT CHORUS)
There are Militant Survivalists
with gucci bandoleros
Taking tacky-kacki walkie-talkies
to the more...

Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly.
The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him.
Johnny put on his devilish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is.... fluctuation."
The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging asshole you are!"

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word."
The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven."
The guy however was quite eager to explain to the priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to listen to his explanation.
"Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy.
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a lucky kick out of the rough and I was left with a perfect shot to the more...