FBI Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), the FBI, and the CIA want to see who is best at catching perps. So a rabbit is released into the forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After months of extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later, dragging a bruised mountain lion behind them. The mountain lion's yelling, "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

The Punjab Police Department, the FBI, and the CIA were each trying to prove it was the best law enforcement agency. So the UN released a rabbit into the woods and gave each agency a chance to do its stuff.
The CIA placed animal informants in and around the forest and questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, the CIA concluded that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI sent its people into the woods. After two weeks with no leads, the agents burned the forest, killing everything, including the rabbit. There were no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
Then the Punjab Police sent its people in. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling, "OK! OK! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

3 men where at the FBI Building for a job interview. The first man walked into the office. The interviewing FBI agent said "To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun, hesitated, and said "Sorry, I can't do it." The next interviewee came into the office. The Agent said "To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun, walked into the room, then walked out. "Sorry," he said. The last man came into the office. The inverviewer said "To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun and went into the room. The Agent heard 6 shots, silence, then a lot of more...

After numerous rounds of' We don't even know if Osama is still alive.

Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game..

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message:

* 370H-SSV- 0773H *

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to NASA. Eventually they asked Britain' s MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:-' Tell the President he's holding the message upside down.'

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, filling everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

The heads of the CIA, FBI, and the LAPD were in a conference with the president of the United States. They couldn't accomplish much, however, because of their incessant rivalry with regards to which agency could apprehend suspects the most efficiently and quickly. The president decides to settle it once and for all by releasing a rabbit into the woods and timing the results of the agencies as a test of efficiency. The CIA places several animal informants in the woods and after eighteen weeks of deep cover questioning of all the animal, plant and mineral witnesses, they conclude that the rabbit has fled to a foreign country and that they need arms to trade with Columbia in order to get cooperation with extradition efforts. The FBI surrounds the woods with its own agents and those of the ATF after reports that the rabbit has armed himself and is operating a militia using the woods as a hub of operation. After four weeks of frustation and standoff they rush the woods without warrants and more...

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"