Fall Jokes / Recent Jokes

During a friendly argument, Jim asked his wife why she married him in the first place.

"I was just stupid," she teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, she was surprised and requested an explanation.

"Well, people get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid."

You know you're in a Cartoon when...
1. You get hit by a falling piano.
2. There's only one mail-order company.
3. Cows are related to chickens.
4. When your beak gets blown off your face you can just pick it up, stick it
back on again.
5. Frying pans are very malleable, especially to the shape of your head.
6. Bullets bend around pipes and/or rabbit holes.
7. Explosives only singe your hair.
8. Gravity is slower to take effect.
9. Anvils fall from the sky.
10. You can survive a nasty fall off the grand canyon.
11. Adults only have legs, and you never see their torso.
12. Bombs are always clearly labelled 'bomb'.
13. You eat sandwiches by swallowing them whole.
14. The local community contains an extraordinary high percentage of
megalomaniacs trying to take over the world.
15. Your lifelong enemy is a mouse.
16. Your body can concertina back into shape after being run over.
17. You keep a dinosaur as a pet and more...

21. ELETELEPHONY
once there was an elephant
who tried to be a telephant;
no no, I mean an elephone
who tried to be a telephone.
(Dear me I am not certain quite
that even now i've got it right)
how e'r it was he got his trunk
entangled in the telephunk
the more he tried to get it free,
the louder buzzed the telephee.
(i fear i'd better quit this song
of elehop and telephong.)
22. Q: What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow,
grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!
23. Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmellow?
A: So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
24. Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
25. Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
26. Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red and more...

There were 4 monkeys in a tree.
Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
- It died.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
- It was tied on to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
- It got hit by the first two.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
- Peer pressure.

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man, "Sir, I really need you to do me a favor. I have to get on this train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and I'm sure that I will fall asleep. So, what I want you to do is that you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it is very important for me. Here is 100 francs for the favor. But I warn you, sometimes when people wake me up, I get really violent, but no matter what I do or say, you have to get me out of this train in Mannheim. Is that clear?"

The ticket man agreed and took the 100 francs. Later, as the man had said,he did fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt. He was so mad at the ticket man, that he ran over and started yelling at the ticket man.

"Are you stupid or something? I paid you 100 francs so that you wake me up in Mannheim. And you didn't! I want my money back you more...

CONCERNING THE ORIGINS OF LOVE
"Cupid kissed God and that got the ball rollin'."
Julio, age 9
"One of the Greek lady gods got a crush on one of the Greek man gods.
he tried to hit her with lightning and thunderbolts, but he just
couldn't get her away from him... After a while, they became the
first married gods.
Robbie, age 8
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has
freckles too."
Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do
with how you smell...That's why perfume and deodorant are so
popular.
Mae, age 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but
the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
Manuel, age 8
ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
John, age more...

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"
Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian.
When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.
"No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."