Fall Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were 4 monkeys in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?- It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?- It was tied on to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?- It got hit by the first two. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?- Peer pressure.

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too."
Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell... That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."
Mae, age 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
Manuel, age 8
ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
John, age 9
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it.It takes too long."
Glenn, age 7
ON THE ROLE OF BEAUTY AND HANDSOMENESS IN LOVE
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
Anita C., age 8
"It isn't always just how you look.Look at me.I'm more...

As you may already know, THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every year upon(the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human genepool. And now, for this year's illustrious winner(s):.. drum roll... JohnPernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at Gorge, Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers among them) they sat in theparking lot, and after finishing the beer, decided that it would be easyenough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show. The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the planwas for John--100 pounds heavier than Sal-to hop over, and then assist hisfriend over the fence. Unfortunately for John, there was a 30 foot drop onthe other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himselfcrashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted by a large more...

I Found this on another website, it is soooo true =D
You call your dog Shinji and your cat Neko.
You perform a canon ball dive into a pool while yelling "Spirit Bomb!"
Your house has an anime room.
You and your friends flash peace signs and take girlish poses when you are happy.
You get an anime tattoo. Even though you're scared of needles.
Your walls are covered in wall scrolls and posters from your favorite series.
If you use the term 'Kawaii' for describing everything.
You try to convince your girlfriend that 'cat ears' and 'tail' really looks good on them.
You can sing songs from your favorite shows, in Japanese, even though you don't speak Japanese...
You spent hours looking through your library for a copy of "The Universe of Four Gods"
You have legally changed your name to that of your favorite character.
You wear a necklace and fall down every time someone says sit boy.
You insist on having an entrance that more...

A person went to church every week, but feel asleep during the
sermon and the women said.. "next time you fall asleep I'm going
to stick this pen up your ass" and he did fall asleep, the father
Began a story and said "Does anyone know what so and so said then?"
and the women had just stuck the pen up the guys ass as he stood up
and say "Hallelujah! " and then the father said Correct my son..
the next week as the father asked another question, the guy was jabbed
with the pen and Stood up to say "AMEN!" and the father said "Right again
my son.."
the next week the father began to talk about Adam and eve, he said
what did eve say to Adam after their 10th child? and the guy
was jabbed with the pen again and he stood up to yell very loudly
"Shove that thing up my ass one more time and I'll rap it around your
face!" and the father said, no I'm sorry, anyone else?

Police in George, WA issued a report on the events leading up to the deaths of Robert Uhlenake (24) and his friend, Ormond D. Young (27) at the Metallica concert last Friday.
Uhlenake and Young were found dead at the Gorge Amphitheater after the show. Uhlenake was in pickup that was on top of Young at the bottom of a 20 ft drop. Young was found with severe lacerations, numerous fractures, contusions, and a branch in his anal cavity. He also had been stabbed and his pants were in a tree above him, some 15 ft off the ground; adding to the mystery of the heretofore unexplained scene.
According to Commissioner-In-Charge Inoye Appleton, Uhlenake and Young had tried to get tickets for the sold-out concert. When they were unable to get any tickets, the two decided to stay in the lot and drink. Once the show began, and after the two had consumed 18 beers between the two of them, they hit upon the idea of scaling the 7 foot wooden security fence around the perimeter of the site and more...

The Taliban's Fall TV Line-up

MONDAYS:
8: 00 - "Husseinfeld"
8: 30 - "Mad About Everything"
9: 00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9: 30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10: 00 - "Allah McBeal"

TUESDAYS:
8: 00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8: 30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"
9: 00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9: 30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10: 00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"

WEDNESDAYS:
8: 00 - "U. S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8: 30 - "Bowling For Food"
9: 00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9: 30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10: 00 - "Veilwatch"

THURSDAYS:
8: 00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8: 30 - more...