Falling Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ever since I turned 30, my mom's vocabulary seems to have gradually shrunk. It now consists of only about five words, usually arranged to form this question: "When are you getting married?"
If I had a nickel for every time I've heard the question, I'd be able to afford a mail-order bride. Maybe even one who can speak English.
My mom and others ask the marriage question so often, I'm tempted to tattoo the answer on my forehead: "I'm a journalist, not a psychic."
But if I did that, my mom and I would never talk. She'd just look at my forehead and shake her head. And her expression would say: "Where did I go wrong with this child?"
Sometimes, just for fun, I feel like scaring my mom by saying I won't get married until one of these things happen:
Ken Starr completes his investigation.
Ross Perot produces a chart-topping rap song, "My name is Ross, just call me boss. When I become your president, the interns will be more more...

Why PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too."
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell .. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long."
ON THE ROLE OF BEAUTY AND HANDSOMENESS IN LOVE
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a more...

Knock KnockWhos there! Bridget! Bridget who? London Bridget, is falling down, falling down...!

There were two men who were rivals in everything they did - tennis, golf, swimming, everything. One day they decide to go skydiving together. High up over the earth, they jump out of a plane. After falling for about half a mile, the first man pulls the cord on his parachute, but his parachute doesn't open. His backup chute doesn't open either. The second man sees his friend falling to earth. He tears off both his parachutes and shouts, "So you want to race, huh? Okay, let's race!"

A young man in high school was falling behind in his classes, he was also getting into other trouble(fights, drugs, sex, etc). His family was rather religious so they asked thier local priest to talk to thier child. Thier conversation went something like this;Priest: Son, why are you falling behind in school?
Kid: I was just following the bible father.
Priest:...any paticular part?
Kid: The book of procrastination.
Priest:...I don't quite remember that one...
Kid: of course not, God never got around to putting it in.