Farm Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a ________. ”Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn’t watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. “Pssst. Tiny. What’s the answer to the last question? ”Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn’t noticed then he turned to Bubba.
“Bubba, you’re so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM. ”"Oh yeah, ” said Bubba. “I remember now. ”He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny’s shoulder again, he whispered, “Tiny, how do you spell farm? ”"You are really dumb, Bubba. That’s so easy. Farm is spelled more...

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running. A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer, "I think I'm planting them too deep."

An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made aliving. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000.The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried backhome. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed theolder man a $50 bill.The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you knowI've always been careful with what little money we had. I didn't spend iton whiskey or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford the license to legally marry your Ma.""Pa!" the young man stammered, "do you know what that makes me?""Yep," said the old man fingering the $50, "... and a cheap one, too.

The Major went out to find that none of his soldiers were there. One finally ran up, sweating heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran five miles, and now I'm here."
The Major was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the soldier go. Moments later, more soldiers came up to the Major panting, he asked them why they were late.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The Major eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too.
Another soldier jogged up to the Major, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the more...

The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst."Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them.""Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."

One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car.
He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house.
The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen.
The farmer said that his son was a geneticist and he had developed this breed of chicken because the he, his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken.
"That's the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman. "How do they taste?"
"I don't know," said the farmer. "We've never caught one."

A farmer had three sons. One day his oldest came to him and said that since he was graduating from high school, he would really like to get a car.

His father said, "Son, come here." He took him to the barn and pointed to the tractor and said, "This tractor is needed for the farm and I promise, as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car".
The boy was not too happy, but was understanding.

A week later, his second son approached him wanting a motorcycle.
"Well", the father said, "as soon as the tractor is paid for we'll see about getting you your scooter."

Shortly after, his youngest was bugging him for a bike.
Again, the father gave him the lecture about the tractor needing to be paid off first.

While leaving the barn, the young boy, a little disgusted with his father's explanation, saw the farm rooster doing it's rooster duty with one of the hens. He promptly went over and kicked the more...