Fascinating Jokes / Recent Jokes

A teacher wanted one of her pupils to come up with a sentence with the word fascinate in it. A girl put her hand up and said,"I went to Disneyland. It was fascinating."
"No no, I want you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating".
A boy known for his bad language put his hand up and said, "My sister

The following Transcript was performed in June of 2006 at the Broadway Comedy Club in New York City.I hope I don't seem too off tonight - I caught Paris Hilton's new single the other day; now my ears itch, and it burns when I hear.
Y'like what I did there, right? Yeah...it's funny cuz she's a whore.
I saw in the paper yesterday that Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan got into it at some Hollywood party recently, and the papers were calling it a "catfight," which to me is typical tabloid exaggeration.
We all know the rule of thumb: it ain't a catfight, unless we see some titty. It's gotta be confirmed by at least two witnesses...
So I say let'em go at it til shit gets to rippin'. It's not like there's high expectations floating around for these two. It's not like there's a lot of people who think'Paris Hilton' and'Lindsay Lohan' and immediately think, 'class.'
I've known chicks from Jersey with more self-esteem. Seriously, as I speak there is a fifty year old more...

A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"
Sally raised her hand and said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.
Johnny said loudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons."
The teacher said, "That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence."
Little Johnny continued, "But her boobs are so big, she more...