2006 Jokes

See what 50 years will do:


Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Jason won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1956 - Jason sent to office and given a good more...

It is the world cup qualifiers in 2006 Brazil vs Scotland Carlos says "We can't be bothered to play Scotland they are to easy".
"I'll take them on single handedly" Ronaldo said. "You go to the pub."
So later on they check the score Ronaldo 1 10: 00 mins
Scotland 0
Then they turn it of later on they say "the game should be finished check the score". Ronaldo 1 10: 00 mins
Scotland 1 89: 00 mins
Then Ronaldo comes down and says "I let you down" NO you didn't you got a draw Carlos said "No I did I got sent of in the 12th minute.

On December 16th, former Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry was stopped by Park Police and arrested for driving with a suspended license.
Police also charged Barry with wearing white after Labor Day.
Barry is considering suing the government saying he was humiliated and severely inconvenienced.


After a brief look at the kind of year Barry's had..

November 14, 2006: Barry Pleads Not Guilty To DUISeptember 11, 2006: Marion Barry Detained By PoliceAugust 7, 2006: Barry Facing More Legal WoesMay 12, 2006: Police: Former Mayor Fails Field Sobriety TestMarch 9, 2006: Marion Barry Sentenced On Tax ChargesFebruary 27, 2006: Barry Shows Off Gasifier MachineFebruary 8, 2006: Federal Judge Postpones Barry SentencingFebruary 7, 2006: Marion Barry Heads Back To CourtJanuary 11, 2006: Marion Barry Fails Drug TestPark Police said they would counter-sue saying it was really inconvenient to have to lock this knucklehead up every other month.

Actual online ad:
$10,000
06' Suzuki GSXR 1000
Farmington, UT 84025 - Aug 7, 2006
2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It's been adult ridden, all wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. I'm selling it because it was purchased without the proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently "do whatever the f*** you want" doesn't mean what I thought. Call Pete, (xxx)xxx-xxxx

Dearest Girl:
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 20th of Dec 2006. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 20th of Dec 2006 at 1000 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of six (6) months and depending on compatibility it would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship
training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 15 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be more...