Feathers Jokes / Recent Jokes

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers.
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes - a building can't jump at all.
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed.
"Tommy," she said, "I`m not eating any more chicken sandwiches."

"Why?" he asked.

"`Cause I`m starting to grow feathers down here," she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy.

"I don`t believe you," he said. "You`ll have to show me."

Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place.

"You`re right," he said. "I`ve been eating a lot of chicken also. Perhaps I`m getting feathers too."

"Well, I`d better have a look," she said.

After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, "Oh, I think it`s too late for you. You`ve got the neck and giblets too."

Two little children were having lunch at school. "Johnny," the little girl said, "I'm never going to eat any more chicken sandwiches." "Why not?" asked Johnny.
Pointing to the bottom of her tummy, the little girl explained, "Because I'm growing feathers down here."
Not believing her, Johnny said she would have to show him. Off they went behind the school so she could show him what she meant.
"Wow, you're right," said Johnny. "I've been eating lots of chicken too. Maybe I'm getting feathers."
"I'd better take a look," said the little girl. After examining Johnny, she looked up at him and said, "Oh no! It looks like it's too late for you. You have the neck and the giblets too!"

In the current film, Titanic, the character Rose is shown giving the
finger to Jack (another character).Many people who have seen the film,
question whether "giving the finger" was done around the time of the
Titanic disaster, or was it a more recent gesture invented by some defiant
seventh-grader. According to research, here's the true story:
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory
over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured
English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw
the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the
future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and
the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck
yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and
began mocking the French by waved their middle more...

A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his arm. He invites his mother to tea, and the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet.
The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have a horny male parrot. I have a sweet young female bird, and for fifteen dollars your bird can go in the cage with mine."
The guy's parrot is listening and says, "Come on! Come on! What are you waiting for?"
Finally, the guy says "All right" and hands over the fifteen dollars.
The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird, closes the curtain.
Suddenly, "Kwah! Kwah! Kwah!" The cage starts shaking and feathers come flying out.
The vet says, "Holy gee," and runs across the room and opens the curtain.
The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage with one claw. With the other claw he's pulling out all her more...

Which side of the chicken has the most feathers?
The outside

English settler: Excuse me Mr. Indian, what does that one feather mean?

Indian 1: It means I screwed one women.

English settler: Oh, you must be very loyal to your wife.

Indian 1: No, I'm just unpopular. Go see that Indian over there. He's popular.

English settler: Excuse me Mr. Indian, what do those five feathers mean?

Indian 2: It means I screwed five women.

English settler: You must be popular.

Indian 2: No I'm not. Go see him. He's popular.

English settler: Excuse me Mr. Indian, what do those ten feathers mean?

Indian 3: It means I screwed ten women.

English settler: You must be popular.

Indian 3: No I'm not. Go see the chief. He's popular.

The English settler goes to see the chief. The chief is surrounded by feathers. He has so many feathers that the English settler couldnt even see him.

English settler: Excuse me Mr. Chief, what do all more...