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One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he had liked the sermon. The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.
The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon. One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay..."

By the time the morning service was to begin, only one man was in the church.
The priest said to him, "It looks like everyone has slept in. Do you want to go home or should I preach the sermon?"
The man replied, "When I go to feed the chickens and only one comes, I still feed it."
The priest took that as a yes, mounted the pulpit and delivered an hour-long sermon.
At the end, he asked the man what he thought.
His answer: "When I go to feed the chickens and only one comes, I don't give it the whole bucket!"

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.

The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."

So the minister began his sermon.

One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.

The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

A duck walks into a feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk tells him, "No, we don't have a market for it it so we don't carry it."
The duck says, "Okay" and leaves. The next day, the duck walks in to the feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck walks in, and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk says, "I've told you twice, we don't have duck feed, we've never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again, I'll nail your feet to the floor."
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks, "Got any nails?"
"No," comes the reply.
"Got any duck feed?"

A man named John was walking back to his house, when a stranger walked up to him and said, "I'll give you tree beans if you give me your house." But John was drunk, so he thought he said, "If you give me tree beans, I'll give you my house."
So John said, "Yes." And while he was taking out some beans, the stranger gave him three beans and ran in his house. John hollered, "WAIT! YOU HAVE TO FEED THE DOGS OR THEY WILL ATTACK YOU CRAZILY!" But the stranger didn't hear him fully and replied, "Oh. Don't feed the dogs? O.k.!"
The next day the stranger came out, all torn up and came to John and said, "I want my beans back."