Feeding Jokes

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke.
The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and, of course, the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
Another woman walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before asking if someone else could have a go.
The blonde spins around and shouts in her face, 'Can't you see I'm winning?'

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disasterFeedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him. Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own. more...

There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!"The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"

The Hazards of Kicking the Cat There was a little boy with a bad attitude. He was at home one day doing his chores. He was feeding the chickens and he got mad and kicked one across the yard. He was feeding the hogs and got mad and kicked the hell out of one of them also. He was milking the cow and it kept hitting him in the face with its tail so he kicked it, too. His mom had been watching him and told him he couldn't have any chicken, beef, or pork for a month because he was a mean little bastard. She told him to wait 'til his dad got home. His dad came home and tripped over the pussy cat and he got mad and kicked that cat across the room. The little boy looked at his mom and said, "Are you going to tell him or am I?"

Why did the blond pee on the floor?
......' cause the sign said "Wet Floor"

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A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke.
The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She
returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine
keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and
watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking
if someone else could have a go.

The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm
winning."