Feet Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did not remember every single detail of an automobile accident. While the lawyer knew that no witness has a perfect memory, he had honed a skill in exploiting minor inconsistencies and lapses of memory in order to challenge the credibility of honest witnesses. After a series of scathing cross-examinations, he was looking forward to his examination of yet another witness."Did you actually see the accident?" he asked.The witness responded with a polite, "Yes, sir.""How far away were you when the accident happened?""I was Thirty-four feet, seven and three quarters inches away from the point of collision.""Thirty-four feet, seven and three quarter inches?" the lawyer asked, sarcastically, "Do more...
Crews have lowered a 125 ton box to try to contain oil leaking from the site of last month's oil rig explosion. The concrete and steel box measures 14 feet by 24 feet by 40 feet. The last time we heard about a box this big, the octomom had just given birth.
How Can You Drop An Egg Six Feet Without Breaking It?
By Dropping It Seven Feet - It Won't Break For The First Six.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink.
Q. Why do they bury lawyers ten feet down instead of the traditional six (feet)?
A. Because deep down they're not such bad guys.
I found this blurb in the USAir Gift Catalog ("This catalog is yours to keep.
Please take it with you!") recently. Quoted without permission:
GOPHER-IT
Prevent damage to garden and lawns from burrowing rodents
with Gopher-It, the electronic stake that emits vibration
and sound that's intensely annoying to underground rodents
up to 100 feet in diameter.
Requires 4 "D" batteries, not included.
#26284 Gopher-It $49.95 (3.95)
I suppose for rodents of greater than 100 feet in diameter you need the
nuclear powered version.
One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, a minute later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard, and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?" The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"