Felix Jokes

Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)

Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, "Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out."The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting assistance with removing the snakes."You've got to be kidding," Felix replied in astonishment. "People actually call the fire department to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?""Well," said the chief, "the first thing I ask is,' Is it on fire?'"

The company I work for offers tours through the historic district of Annapolis, Maryland, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Felix, one of our guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist.
He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Felix in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Felix!
Felix who?
Felix my ice cream, I'll lick his!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Felix!
Felix who?
Felix-cited all over!