Fella Jokes / Recent Jokes

A fella won a million and a friend asked him what he would do with it.
"Well," said the fella,"I plan to spend $250,000 on wine, the same on women and the same on song."
"What are you doing with what's left over?" asked the friend.
"I'll probably just waste that," replied the fella.

A guy walks into a bar... once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but decides he really wants a drink and doesn't want to find another place. So he sits down and the gay bartender says to him, "What's the name of your penis?"
The guy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."
The gay bartender says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis."
So the guy looks at the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, "Hey, what's the name of your penis?"

The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, "TIMEX."

The guy asks, "Why Timex?"

The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"
A little shaken, the guy turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita, "So, what do you call your penis?"

The man to his right turns to him and proudly more...

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the
beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden.
Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running
through the woods like a bat out of hell, and hot on his heels came
the Game Warden...
After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his
hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally
caught up to him...
"Lets see yer fishin' license, Boy!!" the Warden gasped.
With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden
a valid fishing license.
"Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as
a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid
license!"
"Yes, sir," replied the young feller, "But my friend back there,
well, he don't have one..."

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden !! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden.After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him."Lets see yer fishin license, Boy !!" the Warden gasped. With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.i3galr3pr0ducton0fa! h! a! j0k3s"Well, son", said the Game Warden, " You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks !! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!""Yes Sir", replied the young feller," But my friend back there, well, he don't have one"...

A guy walks into a bar... once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink." So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, "What's the name of your penis?" The guy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink." The gay bartender says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis." So the guy looks at the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?" The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, "TIMEX." The guy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!" A little shaken, the guy turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita, "So, what do you call your penis?" The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because quality is Job 1", he more...

One day an older fella was in for a checkup.After his examination, his doctor was amazed."Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in thegreatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!""Did I say I was 64?""Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?""Damn straight you did! I'm 85!""85! Unbelievable! You would be in great shape if you were25! How old was your father when he died?""Did I say he was dead?""You mean...""Damn straight! He's 106 and going strong!""My Lord! What a healthy family you must come from! How long did your grandfather live?""Did I say he was dead?""No! You can't mean...""Damn straight! He's 126, and getting married next week!""126! Truly amazing, Mr. Edwards. But gee, I wouldn't thinka man would want to get married at that age!""Did I say he 'wanted' to get married?..."

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden! ! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him."Lets see yer fishin license, Boy! !" the Warden gasped. With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. i||3galr3pr0duct|on0fa! h! a! j0k3s"Well, son", said the Game Warden, " You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! ! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!""Yes Sir", replied the young feller," But my friend back there, well, he don't have one"...