Fence Jokes / Recent Jokes

The teacher called on Johnny to solve the next question. "There are 3 ducks sitting on a fence", she said, "and the farmer comes out and shoots one of them. How many are still on the fence? Johnny thinks a second and says "none". The Teacher asked him how he figured that. "Well, he said, when the farmer shot the first duck, the noise scared the other 2 and they flew away". The teacher said "That's not really the answer I was looking for but I like your thinking". Then Johnny says "Now can I ask you one?". The teacher said okay. Johnny says "There are 3 women with an ice cream cone in their hands. One is chewing it, one is biting it and one is licking it. Which one is married? The teacher says, "Why, the one that's licking it" to which Johnny answered "Wrong. It's the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking..."

A guy dies, and goes to Heaven. When the guy arrives in Heaven, St. Peter greets him, and says, "Come with me, and I will show you where you will be staying." St. Peter and this guy are walking along side of the golden fence of Heaven, and the guy notices many clocks on the fence. Out of curiousity, the guy asks St. Peter, "What are all these clocks for?" St. Peter smiles, "They are clocks for every person in the world," he says, "And they tick once for each time you lie. There is Mother Theresa`s clock! Her clock has never ticked once. There is Abraham Lincoln`s clock! His clock has only ticked twice." Again, out of curiousity, the guy asks, "Where is Bill Clinton`s clock?" St. Peter calmly says, "His clock is in Jesus`s office. He is using it as a fan."

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?"
The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"
The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.
There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."
To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the more...

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?"The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding more...

A man is walking along the road, when he hears someone shouting "Twelve! Twelve!" over a fence. As he walks closer to the fence, they start shouting "Thirteen! Thirteen!"Curious, the man looks through a gap in the fence. Suddenly he's poked in the eye by a man on the other side, and as he lies there, clutching his head, the man hears "Fourteen! Fourteen!"

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many
blackbirds are left?"
The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"
The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.
There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."
To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its more...

-How do you get down from an elephant? You don't. You get down from a duck. - Why did the elephant paint himself all different colors? So he could hide in the crayon box. - Why do elephants have wrinkles? Because they are so hard to iron. - Why did the elephant put skates on before he went to bed? Because he wanted to get rolling in the morning. - Why can't an elephant ride a tricycle? Because it doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell. - Why do elephants wear sunglasses? So no one will recognize them. - Why are elephants such poor dancers? Because they have two left feet. - What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence. - Why can't elephants go swimming at the beach? Because they can't keep their trunks up.