Fernando Jokes

In the City of Istanbul, the Council authrorised Mayor Cornelius to receive tenders and award a contract to erect a fountain.
Tenderer Ricaldo submitted a tender for $3000. The breakdown being; $1000 for labour, $1000 for materials and $ 1000 profit.
Almeida submitted a tender for $6000. Labour $2000, Material $2000 and profit $2000.
Fernando submitted a tender for $9000. $3000 for tenderer Fernando as profit. $3000 for mayor Cornelius for the trouble. $3000 for tenderer - Ricaldo to erect the fountain.

Fernado, of course got the contract.

"Do you have blacks, too?" -George W. Bush, to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Nov. 8, 2001, as reported in an April 28, 2002, Estado Sao Pauloan column by Fernando Pedreira, a close friend of President Cardoso "I`d rather have them sacrificing on behalf of our nation than, you know, endless hours of testimony on congressional hill." -George W. Bush, Fort Meade, Maryland, June 4, 2002 "We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator." -George W. Bush, to community and religious leaders in Moscow, May 24, 2002 "We`re working with Chancellor Schröder on what`s called 10-plus-10-over-10: $10 billion from the U. S.,$10 billion from other members of the G7 over a 10-year period, to help Russia securitize the dismantling - the dismantled nuclear warheads." -George W. Bush, Berlin, Germany, May 23, 2002 "After all, a week ago, there were - Yasser Arafat was boarded up in more...

Fuck you Portugal, if we wanted to hand over millions of pounds to a bunch of thieving cunts and get absolutely fuck all in return we'd have bought Fernando Torres.

In Sri Lanka we have this MP from Hali Ela, (presently minister of Justice and Buddha Sasana) W J M Lokubandara, who Sinhalised his initials to match whatever names he has, so now he is Wee Ja Moo Lokubandara. He had this programme in schools also to doctor initials.

WeeJayMoo once had gone to a school armed with overhead projector OHP) etc, dislodged lady teacher and asked students thier names. Here is a conversation that he had,

Wee Jee Moo: " oyage nama kiyanna".
Kid: "Mama L. B. Ratnayake".

Wee Jee Moo: "putha L. B. kiyanne mokak-da".
Kid: "Loku Banda".

Wee Jee Moo: "Meeta passay oya L. B. Ratnayake nemey, oya LoBa Ratnayake".

He asked another student
Wee Ja Moo: Putha kiyanna oyage sam-poorna nama
Kid: mage name PUlasthi Kankanamge Kapila Lucas Fernando
Wee Ja Moo: putha, ada indala oyage nama. Pu Ka KaLu Fernando
Another Kid: Sir mage nama K. N more...

Just downloaded that new song, sounds pretty good.
Jessie J ft. Fernando Torres - Can't Handle My Price Tag