Fifth Jokes / Recent Jokes
There is this ship that goes out to sea and crashes. Six people, one woman and five men, survive and use
a safety raft to float to deserted island.
After spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely-sexually deprived lonely. So
they come to this agreement; each man will mary the woman for a week. So the first man has her for one
week, then the second man has her for the second week, and so on.
Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy.
Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets sex whenever she wants with a different man
every week.
Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies!!!
The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week it's getting worse, the fourth
week things are just bad, really bad, the fifth week is just awful, it's getting so bad.
Soooooo.... on the sixth more...
It seem an old rabbi, in seeing his son graduate from high school, wanted to know what be the youths plans. He called the son into his study and questioned him. "Son, I vish to know, what kind of career are you going to have"? The rabbi laid on a table three items, a $100 bill, a fifth of Jamesons and the good book. He looked to the boy and said, " Ve need to know your future. If you take the $100 bill, you will become a gambler, and that is very terrible. If you take the fifth of Jameson`s, you will become a drunkard and that too is very, very bad. But...If you take the good book, you will become a rabbi, like you Papa. The young lad`s mind was blank. He was just out of high school and he did not yet know what he wanted to do with his life. After a few minutes of trying to think, he finally decided there was only one answer. The boy took the $100 bill and put it in his pocket. He picked up the Jameson`s in one hand and with the other grasped the good book, put it under more...
What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
'Hey y'all... Watch this!'
How To Pick Up A Chick In Arkansas:
Hey Baby! Nice tooth.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
You think the last three words of the national
anthem is 'start your engines.'
You Might Be A Redneck If...
Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
If you refer to the fifth grade as, "your senior year".
You Might Be A Redneck If...
You think the stock market has fence around it.
You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the
dump and bring back more than you took.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
Your grandfather died and left everything to his
widow... but she can't touch it 'til she's fourteen.
You Might Be A more...
A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry.
During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was
decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go
with the other.
As the teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the men's toilet, one
of the boys came out and told her he couldn't reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside and began hoisting the little boys up by their armpits, one by one.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well-endowed for an elementary school child. "I guess you must be in the fifth," she said.
"No ma'am," he replied, "I'm in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow. Thanks for the lift anyhow.
There are three fifth grade girls, a blonde, and brunett, and a redhead. Which one has the biggest boobs?
The blonde because she is 18!
A man walks into a building and gets into the elevator. He presses the button for the fifth floor. At the fifth floor the most stunning woman he has ever seen gets into the lift and leans seductively against the wall.
The man doesn't know where to look and starts to get very nervous.
The woman begins to unbutton her blouse and throws it on the floor. She then takes off her bra and throws it on the floor.
At this stage the guy is getting very nervous.
Then she says "Make a woman out of me".
He unbuttons his shirt, throws it on the floor and replies - "Alright, iron that."