Fighter Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it rain drops, but snow falls?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

David Greenland is an expert on Land Resource Planning.
Anthony Pinto is Production Manager of Ford Motor Company. (No! the car was not named after him)
Dr Coffin is the head of the CMA. (Canadian Medical Association)
Peter Nix is a toxicologist at Environment Canada.
Rik Scarce is in jail for non-revelation of his sociology study sources
Otto Matt was a pioneer in digital cartography
Sergei Chilibashwilli - Soviet athlete who fatally bashed his willy on the concrete platform at the Edmonton Student Games.
Andrew Payer is an auditor in the pay office of Health and Welfare Canada
John Trout works for Environmental Communications.
Dr. M. Gawk-roger is my opthalmologist.
Bill Hogg is a hobby farmer and physician.
Nancy Savage is a corporate lawyer.
Byrd Airport in Richmond VA.
Sally Ryde was the first woman to have a ride in the Space shuttle Challenger. Lucky she didn't get the second.
Wendy Parkes is a bureaucrat in Parks more...

A man in a bar with his Labrador at his feet was intrigued to see another dog owner enter the bar.' That's a strange looking dog you have there,' he said.

'Yes, he is rather,' said the newcomer,' but he's a great fighter.'

'Is he now? I bet he isn't as good a fighter as my Fang here.'

'All right - how much do you wanna bet?'

'Ten dollars.'

'You're on.'

So the two men let their dogs fight. Eventually the Labrador crawled, battered and bloody, to his master's side.

'I'd never thought I'd see Fang get defeated,' said the loser's master, handing over the ten dollars,' especially by such an odd-looking one like yours.'

'Yes, he does look a little peculiar,' agreed the winner's master.' But he looked even odder before I shaved his mane off. . . '

One day a doctor walks in the hospital for the Mentaly Insane. As he walks in, he sees 2 guys in seperate beds by them selves. As he approched the first one, the guy starts to act like he is flying an airplane with a dazed look on his face. The doctor asks, Sir, what seems to be the trouble? The guy replies, Well Sir, i am back in the war fighting the Japs in my fighter plane! The Doctor replies,
Well Good Luck Son. The doctor looks across the room at the other gentelman lying in bed.
As the doctor approches, this guy starts to hump vigorously in bed by himself,...like he was having sex! The doctor asks, Sir What is the matter with you?
The guy replies, Well Sir,...While that feller over there is back in the war in his fighter plane fighting the Japs... I am at his house fucking his wife!
Rocky (2-27-2003)

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. more...

Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.

Dear China,

We're sorry you don't train your fighter pilots better. As a token of our apology, here's a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000.

We're also sorry your front-line fighter planes can't outmaneuver a 35-year old prop-driven airliner. Perhaps you'd like to purchase some surplus 1950's-era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan... since they just replaced all theirs with new F-16's.

We're also sorry you believe your territorial waters extend all the way to Australia. For future reference, here's an American 6th grade geography textbook. (Please note the Copyright information printed inside the cover.)

In addition, we're sorry you can't seem to see your part of this more...

A man in a bar with his Labrador at his feet was intrigued to see another dog owner enter the bar. "That's a strange looking dog you have there," he said.

"Yes, he is rather," said the newcomer, "But he's a great fighter."

"Is he now? I bet he isn't as good a fighter as my Fang here."

"All right - how much do you wanna bet?"

"Ten dollars."

"You're on."

So the two men let their dogs fight. Eventually the Labrador crawled, battered and bloody, to his master's side.

"I'd never thought I'd see Fang get defeated," said the loser's master, handing over the ten dollars, "Especially by such an odd-looking one like yours."

"Yes, he does look a little peculiar," agreed the winner's master. "But he looked even odder before I shaved his mane off..."