Figure Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did you figure that out?"
"Didn't feel a thing!"
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they
decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his
hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.
The girl watches him and says, "You must be a dentist!"
The guy, surprised, asks, "Yes... how did you figure that out?"
The girl says, "Easy; you keep washing your hands."
One thing leads to another and they make love. After they are done,
the girl says, "You must be a great dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego, says, "Yes, I sure am a great
dentist. How did you figure that one out?"
The girl says, "Easy; I didn't feel a thing!"
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well, so they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands.
The girl looked at him and said, "You must be a dentist."
Flabergasted, the guy responded, "Yes, that's amazing. How did you figure that out ?"
The girl said, "Easy. You keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another, so they migrated to the bed and things became more passionate. After they were done, the girl said, "You must be a great dentist!"
The guy was very very surprised, and said, "Yes, I sure am a great dentist, How did you figure that out?"
The girl replied, "Easy. I didn't feel a thing!"
A guy and a girl met at a bar.
They're getting along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and washes his hands.
He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.
So the girl looks at him and says, 'You must be a dentist!'.
The guy all surprised says, 'Yes, how did you figure that out ?'.
The girl says, 'Easy, you keep washing your hands'.
One thing led to another.
They make love.
After they were done, the girl says, 'You must be a GREAT dentist!'.
The guy was very very surprised, he says, 'Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out??'
The girl says, 'Easy, I didn't feel a thing!'
Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida.
At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?" So, to the back fence they all went to check it out.
First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Without so much as moving, the New York contractor more...
Note: This joke only makes sense if you read Space Adventure Parts I and II on this site. A complete set of the Adventures can be found in the FunnyStories Forum. This in Jenny's point of view.
I'll tell more of this story since theese men/morons can't figure it out!
Part 1. A Space Adventure
(then the TV buzzed on)
President: Hello, I'd like it if you'd bring a ring of Saturn back for me.
Me: Okay, but how?
President: You're the spacey people, figure it out.
Me: Sir yes Sir!
Jake: We won't let you down, Sir!
President: Remember the world is in your hands, don't let me down and DON'T reveal my secret identity!
Wally: Okay!
Jake: Shut Up!
Wally: NO!
(The TV turned off)
The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests.Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was a actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too.The Greeks were a highly sculptured people and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock Which is apparently poisonous. After more...