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Quickly read through the following text and count the number of F's in it.
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS
Managed it?
Scroll down only after you have counted them!
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OK?
How many?
Three?
Wrong, there are six - no joke! Read again!
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS
The reasoning is that the brain cannot process the word "OF".
Incredible or what?
Anyone who counts all six F's on the first go is a genius. Three is normal.

Ellen Degeneres virusYour IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC
Monica Lewinsky virusSuck all the memory out of your computer
Titanic virusMakes your whole computer go down
Disney virusEverything in the computer goes goofy
Mike Tyson virusQuits after one byte
Prozac virusScrews up your RAM but your processor doesn't care
Sharon Stone virusMakes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there
Lorena Bobbit virusTurns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy
Tim Allen virusAppears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact
Woody Allen virusBypasses the motherboard and turn on the a daughter card
Saddam Hussein virusWon't let you into any of your programs
Tonya Harding virusTurns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
George Michael virusRuns it's course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup
Joey Buttafuoco virusOnly attacks minor files
X-files virusAll your Icons start shape-shifting
Spice Girls virusHas no real function, more...

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . Windows 95 for my PCOn the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 8 Megs overflowin'7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports more...

Everything I Needed to Know About Computers I Learned in the Movies
Word processors never display a cursor.
You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
All monitors and hand-held devices display 2-inch-high letters whenever you
need to see what the operator is typing.
High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such
governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells
that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
Corollary you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing
"ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply
typing "UPLOAD VIRUS". Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they
do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and more...

Three ministers and their wives discovered that their vacations were all at the same time, so to save money, they decided to rent an RV and travel together. But on the second day out, they were in a terrible accident, and all six were killed. They came to the Pearly Gates of Heaven and were greeted by St. Peter. "I know you are all men of the cloth," said St. Peter, "but as a matter of protocol I need to look up your records." He punched a few keys on his computer and studied the screen. He looked at the first minister's record, and grimly shook his head. "I'm sorry. Our files say you lusted after alcohol, and though you never drank any, lust is just as bad as the deed itself. It says here your lust was so strong that you wouldn't get married until you met a woman named Sherry." Poof, the minister and his wife were banished to Hell. He checked the next minister's record. Again he shook his head and said, "I'm sorry. Our files say you lusted after more...

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3. 1 to GirlFriend Plus 1. 0 (marketing name: Fiance 1. 0). Recently he upgraded Fiance 1. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and it's a memory hogger: has taken up all his space. Wife 1. 0 must be running before he can do anything and seems to conflict/interfere with other tasks running such as hockey 2. 1, squash 3. 01 and boys out 1. 2. Although he didn't ask for them, Wife 1. 0 came with auto-installed Plug-Ins such as Mother In Law and Brother In Law. Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend 4. 0... - A "Don't remind me again" button- Minimize button- Shutdown feature- An install shield feature so that Girlfriend 4. 0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects) - "Abort" button (O. K. that one's pretty bad - but had to say it)I tried running Girlfriend 2. 0 with Girlfriend 1. 0 still installed, they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall more...

1. Word processors never display a cursor.

2. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.

3. All monitors display inch-high letters.

4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.

5. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." (See "Fortress")

8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.

9. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or more...