Film Jokes / Recent Jokes
The new Judd Apatow film Funny People, starring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen, opens on Friday. Rumor has it the film will reveal the key to a successful comedy career, Judaism.
Rosie Perez's new film about her family and the history of Puerto Rico will air on the IFC network. The title of the film is, "Yo soy Boriqua, Pa' que lo Sepas!"
Translation: I'm Puerto Rican, so you know!
Wow! Now that's an eye-opener! Who knew that she would turn out to be Puerto Rican. I just thought she was the greatest Swedish actress in the world.
Other documentaries in the works:
With Barry Bonds, "I'm a Baseball Player, I Took Steroids, so you Know!"
With Michael Jackson, "I'm a Singer, I Really like Kids, so you Know!"
With George W. Bush, "I'm the President, so I Think!"
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
17. The main accomplishment of Disney Studios was the film "Fantasia" in which they ripped-off Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring" by paying his agent $2500, of which Stravinsky received $500.
18. The value of a composer's agent is to convince the producer that using a music-cue library would not be cheaper than hiring a composer.
19. If there really is a Devil who is out to destroy the universe by means of vile conspiracies, and if God decides to deliver this message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger - - Oliver Stone. But John Williams will write the score.
20. You should not confuse your lack of musical talent with your inferiority complex.
21. A movie producer who is suddenly nice to you is not really a nice person. It means he is thinking about hiring another composer, probably John Williams.
22. No matter what happens at a recording session (for example, the players shout "Bravo" and applaud) somebody will still find more...
GARNER THOMSON
The ARGUS Foreign Service (April 1994)
LONDON - Two journalist lovers knew they had a scoop when the Duke and Duchess of York sat down to have dinner at the next table. But tabloid demands being what they are, both knew the story was worthless without a photograph. Nic North sprinted to the home of his girlfriend's mother to borrow a camera.
Tracey Kandohla stayed at the restaurant. A breathless Nic returned with the camera and snapped a picture. The Yorks were annoyed, but, in spite of arguing with the couple, failed to get them to surrender the film.
It was only when they had left the restaurant that Nic and Tracey hit a snag. They worked for rival newspapers - Nic for the Daily Mirror, Tracey for The Sun - and they knew that neither paper would be interested if the photograph wasn't an exclusive.
Nic insisted it was his picture - he had fetched the camera and grabbed the shot. Tracey pointed out that it was her mother's camera and film. But Nic more...
Dangerously overweight film maker Michael Moore's latest movie attacks American health care by showing viewers a dangerously overweight film maker.