Film Jokes / Recent Jokes
What position would a horror film star play, in a football team?
Ghoulie.
Banta singh was telling his friend,"yesterday my wife and i had a terrible quarrle.i wanted to go to the club& she wanted to go to the movies." Which film did u c ??? asked his friend.
* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that humans are not only "as innovative as they are cruel," but pretty vain as well.* Wahlberg's neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film reveals his kinship with the teen demographic: BACKNE SUFFERERS.* Fox Marketing Department determined that the ideal garment for a young ape's human pet is a peach-colored dress.* All inflamed baboon buttocks in the film were edited out.* Most extras were actually disgruntled gorillas out of work since the movie "Congo." * Kris Kristofferson's surly acting style is a result of the neverending pain of "Millenium"s failure at the box office. * The imagery of the Ape armys red tents taken straight from biblical writings dealing with how women were separated from the tribe during their periods. (Charlton Hestons idea.)* Helena Bonham Carter's clothing came under-budget through some seamstress' creativity and Rue McClanahan's wardrobe. Her wildly trendy haircut however, more...
A guy goes to the movies one day, and in the front row there's an old man. With him was his dog. It was a sad, funny kind of film. You know the type. In the sad part the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part the dog laughed his head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended the guy decides to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen," he said. "Your dog really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned. "Yeah, it really is amazing, because he hated the book."
In the current film, Titanic, the character Rose is shown giving the
finger to Jack (another character).Many people who have seen the film,
question whether "giving the finger" was done around the time of the
Titanic disaster, or was it a more recent gesture invented by some defiant
seventh-grader. According to research, here's the true story:
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory
over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured
English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw
the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the
future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and
the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck
yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and
began mocking the French by waved their middle more...
How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done, everyone says that his last light bulb was much better.
On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: It's not as easy as it looks, being on all the time. I mean, what happens if I'm in a bad mood?
-- Vanna White, Wheel of Fortune co-star On Standards, the Mega-Rich and: I'd rather not talk about money. It's kind of gross.
-- Barbra Streisand, dodging a question about what she was paid to direct and star in The Mirror Has Two Faces On Disco Music, Importance of: God had to create disco music so that I could be born and be successful.
-- Donna Summer, disco singer On Giving It Your All: I think we played hard, but it was a lackadaisical hard.
-- New Jersey Nets guard Otis Birdsong on why his team had lost an NBA contest On Hostage-Taking, Fun For All: [Being taken hostage is] an adventure for the tourist, because the tourist will end up learning about the customs of the tribes as well as their good hospitality.
-- Abdullah Ahmar, speaker of Yemeni parliament, on the practice of taking foreign visitors more...