Firm Jokes / Recent Jokes

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, more...

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98"One word sums up more...

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Al Gore
"Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
- Vice President Al Gore
"Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts."
-Vice President Al Gore
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, & water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-Vice President Al Gore, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
-Vice President Al Gore, more...

I am sad to say this is the next leader of the Free World
These are the quotes of George W. Bush JR.:
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure".
...George W. Bush, JR.
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR.
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR.
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR.
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important.
We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR., 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history.
But we all lived in more...

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN THE OFFICE AREN'T:
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
5. HMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid!
4.My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, but at the office isn't:
1. it's not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A LAW FIRM AREN'T:
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge.
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offence?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he more...

Dubya Quotes
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
...Governor George more...

Dear Ms. Ezell:Thank you for your letter of July 17. After careful
consideration I regret to inform you that I am
unable to accept your refusal to offer me
employment with your firm. This year I have been
particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a
varied and promising field of corporate candidates
it is impossible for me to accept all refusals
for employment.Despite your company's outstanding qualifications
and previous experience in rejecting applicants,
I find that your rejection does not meet with my
needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate
employment with your firm immediately following
graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.Sincerely,
Marc Taylor