Fishing Jokes / Recent Jokes
One local was known for catching his limit every time he went out. Finally one day the Game Warden, a bit suspicious, asked if he could go with him. "Sure", the man replied. "Meet me at the dock tomorrow at noon."
The next day the warden joined the man at the dock. He got in his boat, and they proceeded to one of the remotest parts of the lake. The warden noticed the man had a tackle box, but no fishing poles. Just as he was about to say something, the man stopped the boat, opened the tacklebox, pulled out a stick of dynamite, lit it and tossed it overboard. BOOM! As the fish floated to the top, the man proceeded to grab them and toss them in the cooler.
"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!", yelled the warden. "That's highly illegal! You just violated about three dozen federal laws!"
The man looked at the warden, picked up another stick of dynamite, lit it, and tossed it into the Game Warden's lap. Then he said, "You more...
Sphen and Olly are out fishing and they are catchin tons and tons of fish, so olly turns to sphen and says we should but a mark on this spot for another time because this is really good fishing. So sphen pulls out a magig marker and buts a huge X on the boat were he and olly were standing. So olly looks at this and goes "Sphen you idiot what do we do if we take a different boat".
A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem, no. Deez here are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" Ya. Avery night I take deez here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim' round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's de truth ma' fren. I'll show you. It really works." "Okay, I've GOT to see this!" The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" said the Cajun "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" more...
What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student? One baits his hook, the other hates his book.
Santa and his wife, Jeeto, went on vacation to a resort. One morning, Santa came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap. Jeeto decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out a short distance from shore, anchored the boat and started reading a book she had brought with her.
Along comes a guard in his boat - pulls up alongside and asks, "What are you doing out here?"
Jeeto replies, "I'm just reading a book."
"Well, ma'am, this is a restricted area," he says.
Then, he sees all the fishing equipment in the boat and continues, "You can't fish here, ma'am."
To which she replies, "I'm not fishing. I'm merely sitting here reading my book."
"But you have all this equipment, I will have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that I will charge you with rape."
"Why...I didnt even touch you."
"No, more...
Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing they don't catch a thing. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men finally catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
"Wow!" says the othe guy "It's a good job we didn't catch any more!"
What sort of net is useless for catching fish? A football net!