Flag Jokes / Recent Jokes

THE FOSTERS AD DURING THE OLYMPICS
I don't have a kangaroo for a pet
I don't wrestle with crocodiles And I don't wear a cork hat
I fight wars but never start wars I would rather make peace
I can wear my country's flag with pride
I am a rock I am the ocean I am the island continent
My neighbours are the Smiths, the Wilson's, the Santerellis,
the De Costis, the Wong's and the Jakamarras
I play football without a helmet
I like beetroot on my hamburger
I ride in the front seat of the taxi
I believe it's a prawn not a shrimp
I believe the world is round and down under is on top
I believe Australia is the best address on Earth
And Australians brew the best beer.

now..... THE REAL AUSSIE

I ate my pet Kangaroo
I am shit scared of crocodiles And I wear a baseball cap
I love star wars And the wookie is my favourite
I would rather get pissed
And watch someone else carry the country's more...

Chuck Norris invented american flag pants.

There was a young girl who loved to wear dresses everyday to school. One day a boy asked her to climb the flag pole for a box of cookies. She climbed the pole and all the boys in the schoolyard could clearly see her underpants. When she got home she bragged to her mother that she got a box of cookies for climbing a flag pole. The mother knew that the kids just wanted to see her underpants so she told the girl not to climb the pole again. Of course the little girl didn't believe her mom and the next day the boy asked her to climb the pole for a box of candy. She did and they all saw her underpants and laughed. When she went home she told her mother the news. Her mother was angry. She told the girl she shouldn't climb the pole. She told her, "They just want to see your underpants and if you climb the pole again your grounded!" The next day the same boy asked her to climb the pole for more goodies, so up the pole she went. When she came home she told her mother what she got for more...