"Aussie Ad" joke

THE FOSTERS AD DURING THE OLYMPICS
I don't have a kangaroo for a pet
I don't wrestle with crocodiles And I don't wear a cork hat
I fight wars but never start wars I would rather make peace
I can wear my country's flag with pride
I am a rock I am the ocean I am the island continent
My neighbours are the Smiths, the Wilson's, the Santerellis,
the De Costis, the Wong's and the Jakamarras
I play football without a helmet
I like beetroot on my hamburger
I ride in the front seat of the taxi
I believe it's a prawn not a shrimp
I believe the world is round and down under is on top
I believe Australia is the best address on Earth
And Australians brew the best beer.

now..... THE REAL AUSSIE

I ate my pet Kangaroo
I am shit scared of crocodiles And I wear a baseball cap
I love star wars And the wookie is my favourite
I would rather get pissed
And watch someone else carry the country's flag with pride
I like to rock to Billy Ocean
I am blind to my incompetence
My neighbours are the Smith's, the Wilson's, the Wogs, the Lebs,
the Chinks and the Abo's
I watch football with a tinnie
I take the beetroot off my hamburgers...
And throw Macca's pickles on windows
I do runners from taxis
I believe the world is flat And Australia is f******* miles away from anywhere
I believe Australia is the best address on earth
And Australians brew the best beer
And that's why we never touch Fosters...
We export that s***.