Neighbours Jokes

One person from Utter Pradesh (UP) was in Mysore for about four years and his wife in Jaunpur (UP).

At the end of four years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this happened when our friend was in Mysore and his wife in Jaunpur.

He said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife (good samaritans) when men are away.

The colleagues asked, "What name will you give to the son?"

To which he replied: "If it's the first neighbour who has taken care, then the name would be PAHLAJ.

If it's the second neighbour, then the name would be DWIVEDI, if it is the third neighbour then it would be TRIVEDI, if it is the fourth neighbour then it would be CHATURVEDI and if it's the fifth neighbour PANDEY.

After listening to this, questions followed and what if it is a mixture of more...

there was once a lady she was deaf she moved houses she asked her neighbours what shall i call the house they said cherry blossem
she thought they said hairy bottom.she had a son she asked the neighbours what shall i call him they said billy she thought they said willy.then she saidto them i looked through my hairy bottom but i didnt find my willy

FEUDALISM: You have 2 cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells the milk.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them but the government takes the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have 2 cows. The government takes the cows and kills you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
U.S. DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for it. After the election the president is impeached for speculating on cow futures. Its dubbed "cowgate".
U.K. DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. You feed them sheeps brains and they go mad. The government don't do anything.
ANARCHY: You have 2 cows. Either you sell them or your neighbours will kill you and take them.
CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
FEMINISM: You have 2 cows. They get married and adopt a calf.
COUNTER CULTURE: Wow dude, more...

Mum, are the neighbours very poor people?
I don't think so, Raj. Why do you ask?
Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin.

The couple has a small boy about three years old. One day they wanted to have sex. They couldnt let the boy see them. So the father told her son "Son I and mom had to do some theing important. Untill then why dont you go the the balcony and wait untill we call you by the time you can shout about the things you see from the balcony"
So the kid is satnding in the balcony and shouting about the things he see he says "there goes the milk man" "there goes the paper man" the father is shouting back from in side the house
"good son keep on going" Then the kid suddenly said "the neighbours Mr & Mrs Smith are having Sex"
The father got a shock hearing this he got dressed and came to the balcony and asked from the kid "Can you see Mr & Mrs Smith from here having sex?"
The Kid replied "No I cant see them, But there son is also in the balcony Counting vehicles"