Flavor Jokes / Recent Jokes
Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have certain medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.
Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label - he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered.
Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you're really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be pleased to learn that a single serving of pork brains has 1,170 percent of our recommended daily cholesterol intake. All the more...
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure. Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes food. Good Luck! DAY ONE Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more the. 75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room. Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your house. Dinner: Catch a moth and more...
The Eight Worst Convenience FoodsAnd I thought nothing could top Hormel's pickled eggs. .. 8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease. 7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered. 6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you're really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be pleased to learn that a single serving more...
On the first day of kindergarten, the teacher decided to do taste association with her class. "I'll blindfold you, give you a lifesaver and then you tell me what flavor it is," she instructed the students.
She gave them all a grape lifesaver and asked them what flavor it was. "Mmmmm, it's grape," the class answered.
"Very good," the teacher replied. She then gave them all a cherry lifesaver and they replied, "Mmmmm, it's cherry."
"Excellent," said the teacher. Next she gave them all a honey flavor lifesaver. The class seemed stumped by the strange taste, so the teacher said, "Ok, I'll give you a little hint. It's something your parents might call each other."
Billy immediately spit his out onto the floor and yelled, "Quick, everyone spit them out, they're ASSHOLES!"
Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in.The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family's Christmas tree. He is allowed entry to Heaven.The second man offers a bow and some ribbon, from presents that were opened earlier that evening. He too is allowed entry to Heaven.The third man reaches into his pocket and produces a pair of panties.Confused at the man's gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do panties represent Christmas?"The man replies, "Oh, they're Carol's."
Which flavor ice cream is Dracula's favorite? Vein-illa.