Flip Jokes

If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she'd be Whoopi Cushing.
If Swoosie Kurtz married Patrick Swayze, she'd be Swoosie Swayze.
If Flip Wilson married Les Aucoin, he'd be Flip Aucoin.
If Barbara Hershey married John Candy, divorced him to marry Roseanne Barr, she'd be Barbara Hershey Candy Barr.
If Julie Emry married Jeff Gillooly, divorced him to marry Darlene Hooley, then divorced her to marry Wes Cooley, she'd be Julie Gillooly Hooley Cooley.
If Ivana Trump married Neil Diamond, divorced him to marry Jack Nicklaus, then divorced him to marry John Darling, she'd be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus Darling.
If Julie London married Beau Bridges, divorced him and married composer Manuel de Falla, then married Hugh Downs, she'd be Julie more...

This is completely true!
Okay, so it was after dinner and my sister, dad and I were at the table just kinda goofing off then my sister asked me this riddle:
There is one man in a jungle, he reaches into his pocket and takes something out, it has a head and a tail but no body, yet he is not afraid. What was the thing he found in his pocket?
I couldn't figure it out so my dad gave me a hint:
you can flip it.
I still could not figure it out.
What do you flip? asked my dad.
Then I was all like:
A coin. A COIN! A COIN! THAT'S IT, A COIN!!!
What can I say? I'm a blonde, but it doesn't count too much because I have dirty blonde hair and blonde and dirty blonde isn't the same thing.

Four gay guys walk into a gay bar and they find a problem. There's only one stool left.
One guy says "Lets flip for it"
But another says "No, Lets flip it over"

Boredom should NEVER be an symptom in your life. All you need to do is read this list and Rock-N-Roll!
WARNING: Some of these may result in people chasing you. Always wear tennis shows and have your escape route planned out :)
1: Reply to everything someone says with, "that's what YOU think!"
2: Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re-route entire streets.
(This one is especially useful if you're having a yard sale!)
3: Ask people what gender they are. When they reply, ask - "are you sure?"
(Not recommended at Biker Bars)
4: Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and repeatedly saying "blah, blah, blah, blah".
5: Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
(Works even better if your rent a cop uniform.)
6: Go to your local mall. Walk up to strangers and say: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's more...

A library is a somewhat easy place to annoy the people sitting around you, but for those of you with less then stellar creativity, we have made a list of things you can do...1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly.2. While pointing to a very simple word, like 'the', ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it for you.3. While looking at your book, turn so you're facing the person. Then, peer over the top of your book, and say "PEEKABOO!!"4. Put down you book, and look over and start reading the other persons book, and, either 1) say "Ooo. Nice book." or 2) when he/she looks at you, quickly pick up your book and act like your reading it.5. Suddenly look over at him/her, and say, "You're one of THEM!"6. Put down you book, and look at him/her. When they says something like "what?", cut them off by saying "Are you accusing me of something?"7. Read your book. Upside down.8. Read your book from right to left. And flip the pages the more...